I've never cried in front of anyone in my life.
I've always kept my cool.
I couldn't do that on Canada day though.
I absolutely lost it.
I don't understand.
Why you just won't be it.
I feel like such an idiot.
Yet, my spirits aren't 100% down.
I still feel this thing.
I just don't know to what extend.
I like that this other girl is stupid.
About the same stupid as me.
And we both did something shitty.
To someone awesome.
I am the same kind of awful as you are.
Good for me.
I guess I've never pretended to be a good person.
I've always just laid it out.
This week has been full of ridiculousness.
I got so drunk the other I almost fell off a roof.
I scrapped both my knees.
Lucky for me my friends take care of me.
The other day I started crying at work.
I didn't think I had any money.
Which meant no booze or smokes.
This is when I came to a realization.
When I get back from my trip I'm working on being less of a drunk.
Seriously.
I feel like I've overcome something finally.
When I look at this other person I don't feel anything.
I feel like I wish we were friends.
Or better friends, but that'll change I'm sure.
This trip has to change my life.
I can't fucking wait to get out of this city.
See something different, get away from this place.
Not be in the same god damn drama.
I miss Julia.
My voice if reason.
She'll be home soon though.
Not soon enough.
I miss Leah.
My other voice of reason.
I'm glad I have Trudy though.
She makes me laugh.
She makes me smile.
By the way.
Masturbation cures headaches.