Good morning ladies and gentlemen, here are the war updates.
Through out the night subliminal messages were sent to the opposition of Sadastan.
These came in the form of nightmares armed to scare the army from it's main attack.
The opposition is going to go through seven hours of intense therapy all day.
The experimental therapy comes in the form of porno and sex toys.
The goal here is to distract the mind of thoughts of danger and treachery.
With the Tuesday night attack well on it's way nothing more can be done.
Except maybe laundry.