I need one of those.. you know.
Things where stuff happens.
I need a shower too but that's a different story.
I got stoned last night and did one of those.. you know.
I resolved to change some of my behavior.
But then I woke, and realized I didn't care.
I try to keep them, but then I just fall into my old shit.
Like stop torturing, taunting, abusing what his face.
That's a resolve I should keep.
But I can't.
I've tried, although it's my own fault for taking the bait.
Also, stop talking about personal shit so much.
Again, I've tried.
But it comes out of my mouth regardless.
It's like I walk into a situation and I'm all like 'keep them resolves'.
Two hours later, same shit.
Eating healthy, losing weight, being a 'nice' girl (whatever the fuck that means).
I give it a good solid effort for a week.
Realize, I don't really care that much.
You can't really better yourself, if you don't give a fuck right?
The winter is tough.
I think I get even worse.
I'd like to stop being so paranoid.
I get terrified, if I step out for a bit.
Will things be different the next day?
I worry about insane shit.
I think about all this, and then never do anything about it.
I want to put more effort in my work.
Save money.
Keep my apartment and room clean.
Spread the friendship train out more.
The winter makes the last one tough.
In the summer, I roam around.
Make the rounds, in the winter though, I just want to stay in one spot.
I can't find anyone suitable for traveling.
So I've made no plans, and I want to so bad.
My health and sex life are terrible.
I don't why one has to do with the other, but it seems appropriate.
I'm in a funk.
Too connected to things, unconnected to others.
Trying to force things I want, without thinking.
Winter sucks.