I would do anything to take yesterday back.
The morning went pretty well.
I woke up at 9, started drinking.
I watched a debate between Obama and Clinton.
By noon I was pretty drunk and all the roommates were around.
I decided to get my laundry on the go.
I figured I had 3 hours because he doesn't usually get out of bed until then.
The discussion at Charlie's was lots of fun.
I was talking politics, all drunk and full of fire with a regular.
Then I had some pot around 2, bad idea.
Then he walked through the door, fucking early bastard.
We played a game of pool in total silence, I started drinking faster.
We left the bar to get the laundry and I said something.
Something like, what is it you want from me? Was that a fun game of pool to you?
Then we talked and I definitely didn't say everything I had to say
And then I cried, and cried, and cried, from 230 530.
He sat there and watched me, and I cried.
I couldn't stop.
He said he would leave, but I didn't want him to leave.
Because I like being around him but being around him made me cry more.
It was fucking awful, I've never felt so exposed.
I guess crying for 3 hours none stop is exhausting.
He walked me home and I passed out immediately.
4 hours later I woke up, definitely still drunk.
I had a poutine and went to Charlie's for more beer.
I was watching the CBC for a while.
Then people showed up and I sat there.
Every once and a while going to the bathroom to cry.
I wish I could erase that whole day.
Obviously this isn't just about what's his face.
I think I need this, this huge depression once a year.
Or maybe I'm a foolish child in love.
And there we fucking have it.
I think today I will rent some videos.