There's this dead bird.
It lives in the Commons.
Everyday I walk by it.
I know it's there.
And I look at it.
This has been happening since summer.
Everyday I look.
It used to be a pigeon.
Now it's feathers, and bones.
I sort of look forward to it.
I'll be sad to see it fully decomposed.
Now today.
As I was approaching, I started thinking.
I should write about this bird.
In the old blog, ya know?
But amongst all this thinking.
I forgot to look.
The first time I forgot to look.
I hope it's there tomorrow.
Or I'll feel like I really missed something.
These are the kinds of things I look forward to.
What's that say?
Today at Charlie's, ridiculousness got out of hand.
A pool game ruined.
A pool ball thrown.
An almost fight.
Surprisingly, the usual suspects had nothing to do with it.
I'm really starting to go crazy with loneliness.
Which is ridiculous, considering I'm constantly surrounded by people.
A different kind of loneliness I guess.
I couldn't find anyone today, no one was answering their phone.
I felt so awful.
Eventually it worked out.
But how shitty I felt for a few hours.
I need something bad.
And not just a good hard fucking.
Something else.
I had a sandwich today.
It was delicious.
I hung around the lounge at NSCAD.
Visiting Gary and Dan, but ended up seeing a bunch of kids I knew.
What was supposed to be a 30 minute visit quickly turned into 2 hours.
I called my dad for money.
I've been so shitty, drinking too much, eating too much.
I don't know how I spent all this money so fast.
But I'm broke.
And being broke scares me, almost desperately.
No more cabs, no more fast food, no more excessive drinking.
Well, not until birthday week.
I should call it birthweek eh?
That would make more sense.
At least it's something to really look forward too.
I bought decorations for the house.
They'll go up Sunday, and stay all week.