a dream come true.

I think I have put an end to my nipple fetish.

I finally got to bite one. Closure.
Bearly's was hilarious.
I went to for food with Stephen, Mike and Cory.
Mike wrote my essay.
School was cool. We talked about Gap kids dressing like hippies.
Work was easy, my manager got laid therefor making her a riot.
I was supposed to clean, but I don't want to.

best part of kareoke

I’ll never be your beast of burden

My back is broad but it’s a hurting

All I want is for you to make love to me

I’ll never be your beast of burden

I’ve walked for miles my feet are hurting

All I want is for you to make love to me

Am I hard enough

Am I rough enough

Am I rich enough

I’m not too blind to see

I’ll never be your beast of burden

So let’s go home and draw the curtains

Music on the radio

Come on baby make sweet love to me

Am I hard enough

Am I rough enough

Am I rich enough

I’m not too blind to see

Oh little sister

Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, girl

You’re a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty girl

Pretty, pretty

Such a pretty, pretty, pretty girl

Come on baby please, please, please

I’ll tell ya

You can put me out

On the street

Put me out

With no shoes on my feet

But, put me out, put me out

Put me out of misery

Yeah, all your sickness

I can suck it up

Throw it all at me

I can shrug it off

There’s one thing baby

That I don’t understand

You keep on telling me

I ain’t your kind of man

Ain’t I rough enough, ooh baby

Ain’t I tough enough

Ain’t I rich enough, in love enough

Ooh! ooh! please

I’ll never be your beast of burden

I’ll never be your beast of burden

Never, never, never, never, never, never, never be

I don’t need no beast of burden

I need no fussing

I need no nursing

Never, never, never, never, never, never, never be

camel toe

"You realize your jeans are so tight, your vagina is eating them."
"You're going to have to clean the semen out of your ass"
"I like to make a girl climax a few times before I insert anything"
- A friend (not directed at me since I don't wear pants)

Its weird how alcohol makes me totally unembarrased about sexual conversations. Jesus.
Thank the unknown for smiles and good people.

weird

Today was weird.
I have things to think about from this morning.
I found a new roommate.
I talked to Savannah, I cried a little bit.
I can't stop smiling.

pecan

I listen to the same song over and over.
School was fun. I forgot I had to write an essay.
I went to Leah's, she fed me.
We made some really great food, Leah is a fun person to cook with.
The Bad Motels sent out a song to me.
I've agreed to call it "my song" instead of "the good song".
They invited a strange South Korean man to sit with us.
He smoked American cigarettes.
I dread checking my private messages.
I hope tomorrow is as much as I wish it would be.

only person who's never broken my heart.

empty

I went to visit Leah.
Saw Heather and turned away.
I saw Julia and went to scrabble.
Stephen drove me home, I went to Troy's.
He made me feel better.
I went to Reflections, and ran away.

I feel empty.
My uncle Jack died.
I don't know what else to say.

...

These Days

Nico

I've been out walking

I don't do too much talking

These days, these days.

These days I seem to think a lot

About the things that I forgot to do

And all the times I had the chance to.

I've stopped my rambling,

I don't do too much gambling

These days, these days.

These days I seem to think about

How all the changes came about my ways

And I wonder if I'll see another highway.

I had a lover,

I don't think I'll risk another

These days, these days.

And if I seem to be afraid

To live the life that I have made in song

It's just that I've been losing so long.

La la la la la, la la.

I've stopped my dreaming,

I won't do too much scheming

These days, these days.

These days I sit on corner stones

And count the time in quarter tones to ten.

Please don't confront me with my failures,

I had not forgotten them.

horny.

I got bad news.
I read french poetry.
I went to Amy's.
I went to Troy's.
The word horny makes my cheeks red.
I cried a little bit.
I got a hug and I felt better.
Troy and I headed to Subway.
I put on my uniform and made us free subs.
I had a long walk home.

sand.

I went to Frenchy's.
Meghan sold me stuff.
I went to Leah's, we had a talk.
We bought 3 grams of shrooms each.
Vibrating blue out of Leah's mouth, jumbo and small waves, plants growing out of the walls, Leah's face coming closer and further, things running next to the walls, feeling like the floor is swallowing you whole, that my fingeres were falling off, not letting go of Leah's legs so I wouldn't fell, running up and down steps and forgetting which floor I was on, sand coming out of my mouth, my mouth collapsing upon itself, constant need to scream "I HATE THIS DRUG, BUT I LOVE THIS DRUG", twirling in circles screaming "so many doors, so many stairs", scratching myself, pulling my hair, needing to draw, long legs with small torsos everywheres, disorganized thoughts, fear of not going back to reality, wanting to talk to my mom, random words, random feelings.
Thats my trip, but so much more than that.
I'm glad Leah was with me, she thought she was a cat.
She said my energy was hurting her at some points.
Christ.
We hung out in a playground until we came down.
I went to bed.

silence.

Work was amazing, I should rant more often.
Everything was done.
I was working with a great girl.
We laughed and did a bunch of extra work.
I got to make subs instead of being stuck in the back.
I smiled a hell of a lot

I thought about something.
I hate silence.
I hate silence for a reason.
I hate silence, because when its silent, I usually have bad thoughts.
About me, about others, about the situation, about what to say, about life, about stuff.

I talk a lot to avoid silence.
I don't mind silence in the dark.

hold

300$ later, I have all my books.
I worked my ass off at work.

RANT TIME. ----> I'm fucking sick and tired of doing everybody else's work. Its like babysitting a bunch of fucking 12 year olds. I come in expecting to have a good day, because I always have a stupid smile on my face, and BAM, the place is a fucking disaster and nothing is done. Then I get bullshit from my manager asking me to please "do this" "do that". I barely have time to think, or to smile.

Moral of the story, do your work, and I can do mine, with a smile.
I left work early because I'd had enough.
I went to Gus' and hung out with Troy.
We went to his house to watch the Hold movie.
I had yet again, another poutine.
I helped clean his kitchen this morning.
I had the best fucking sandwich ever, I love nice food service people.
If you have the chance, get a sub at Jazzz Cafe.
Three Zs.

pie.

This deserved its on post.

I got up, and made scrambled eggs.
Got on the most torturous bus ride.
I sat there and compared hang overs with people.
Someone was wearing waaaaay too much man perfume.
I had lemon meringue pie.
I learnt about stuff.
I'm going to buy the rest of my books right now.

Responsible like and stuff.

potluck

I made summer savory potatoes.
I went to a potluck and every seemed to enjoy them.
I went to Reflections and cried.
I never cry.
I talked about it.
I went to a friends and tried to fix things.
I went to Bearlys and enjoyed myself.
I bought pizza.
I'm home now.
I'm listenning to the Arcade Fire and about to go to bed.

beavertail

Didn't go to school.
I went to visit Alex, he had already had lunch.
I bought a Beavertail, watched the water, birds and people.
There was a gathering of ladies with big red hats and purple jackets.
I headed to a bookstore and got myself two books.
I went to CD Plus and got a .moneen. cd.
I went to the Black Market, got champa.
Poutines are going to be the death of me.
I went to visit Brad.
Ann hung out with me while she made a dead fish collage.
I hung out with Troy.
We went to the public gardens and sat on the grass.
Mr.Changs is a great setting for supper.
I bought Girl, Interrupted , Rain Man, and My Giant.
I bought waaaaaaaaaay to much candy.
Troy walked me home.
I went to Heather's, got high with Jared.
Came home and watched Boogie Nights with Savannah.

soap.

Someone actually said the words "wow you smell like soap".
I think I've finally reached my dirtbag potential.
When people can identify days of showers.
Christ.
I got to work and the power was off.
I had to stay anyways.
Eventually it came back on, and we had a busy day.
A few months ago a random asshole came in to Subway and yelled.
I saw him tonight, and I yelled back. What a dipshit.
I went to Reflections and only spent 4$.
Dave took a picture of my shoes, and told me to buy new ones.
I like Wings, what a terrific band.
Savannah made me a cupcake, it had my name on it in frosting.
The Black Rats won the money tonight.

sidewalks

I went to the show at Gus'.
I laid/layed (do they both work?) on the sidewalk with Dan.
I yelled at bands.
I woke up with smiley faces everywhere.

I need a cd player for the bus, or I'll go crazy.
Where can I get one, that isnt in the Halifax Shopping Centre?
I'm so stupid.

thoughts

I know I don't have a problem with alcohol.
I like myself better when I'm drunk though.
I'm honest.
I have opinions and I share them.
I dance.
I don't feel bad.
I say whatever is on my mind.
Sober Lindsay, is always afraid of the consequences of all of those things.
I want to be drunk Lindsay all the time, without the alcohol part.

lunch

I'm going to post in the blog in little sentences.
Its fun. Its easy.

My dad called me to say hi, that means a lot.
My mom has a hole in her eardrum.
I went to lunch with Stephen.
I got to meet Lachie, and I saw Meghan.
I saw the hung over mess that was Jared and Heather.
I saw Leah today.
I cleaned my room, finally.
I'm to a show soon.
I'm drinking by myself.

things and events

I did hard drugs when I said I wouldn't.
I over thought too much.
I had an easy day at work.
I pretend I don't mind that I got arrested.
I came to a party and wished I was somewhere else.
I'm excited about the show tomorrow.

I'm posting all of this, because I'm loaded.

I am never touching the internet stoned again, it makes me.. feel shy about Lindsay.

Fuck that.

I got arrested.
I hung out with Troy.
I had breakfast with Mike, Cory, Amy and New Wave.
I got high with Jared.
I slept over at someone's house.
I love Scribbler.
I miss hanging out with Leah.
I hang out with Heather a lot since she lives so close.
I danced in the rain with Savannah until we were soak&wet.

I'm being 20 and it's kind of alarming.

ok.

I went to an asshole party.
I bought a gram of pot this week.
I stopped working full time at Subway.
I started going to school.
I went to visit Heather's new house.
I danced with Troy.
I had breakfast with Mike, Cory & Amy.
I went to see the Play of the Living Dead with Amy.
I bought way too many poutines.
I fell down Leah's steps.
I did cocaine.
I went to a relief fund raiser.
I went to Frenchy's and got a new jacket.
I went to Brad's and cuddled.
We have to shred our own lettuce at work.
Amy just gave me an astro boy keychain.
I saw Mike and Cory's nipples.
I went to New Brunswick with Matt and Leah.
It was the last corn boil ever.
I made fun of a lot of people.
Leah and Josue wrestled.
I cuddled with Eric by a fence and watched a train go by.
I had 5 quarts in 6 days.
I missed the first day of school.


theme that persists.. cuddling, fuck off cuddling. you kill me.