Well, well ,well, well, well.
That conversation had to happen.

Mission accomplished to the max.
I passed out in the bath-tub drunk the other day.
Tons of lit candles and a lot of water.
Yet again, one more thing I will never do again.
My mom always had the philosophy live and learn.
I dig it.
I learned, never again.
Bathing is good in the morning or before drinking.
Lesson learned, yo.
I went camping and almost froze to death.
It was fun though, waking up with the sun was amazing.
The smell of being outdoors, listening to bugs before bed.
The fire we made before hand was pretty sweet too.
It's a shame Al and Ala didn't get to do the outdoor thing.
They'll be plenty more times though I'm sure.
The tent we slept in is definitely more of summer tent than a mid-April tent.
Adventure Pals, rocking the outdoors like it's no one business.
I had a conversation with my mom the other day that changed me.
I feel like, I had a blindfold on my whole life.
If I could, I'd bring those fucking assholes back to life and make them realize what their actions did.
People suck.
I got over-stoned and stumbled through the Commons until Neal and Jenny rescued me.
We went to mall food court, Jenny got her hair cut and we went to see Hot Fuzz.
I love hanging out with those guys, so open and honest.
Real good people, they make me want to share my thoughts and ideas.
There we have it.
Alex starts at the porn shop on Thursday.
Awesomeness.

I feel like a million fucking dollars today.
It's about damn time.

I wish there was a button you could press that just canceled things right out of your life.
I can't fake anything.
My emotions are all over my face all the time.
Theres no lying.
Theres no putting it behind me.
Its always there, my memory goes on forever.
Forgive and forget just doesn't work for me.
I feel like a pile of shit most of the time.
But other days, I'm a fucking princess who loves every minute of everything.
Not lately though.
Fix me.

There has to be something wrong with my head.
I have extreme highs and EXTREME lows.
It changes at the drop of a hat, I'm sure I'll figure it out.
Eventually.
For now though, it's kind of thrilling.
I feel terribly alive.
The other day I sort of lost it for a bit.
I got so drunk that I couldn't even stand myself.
Finished half a quart of gin, had many tiny beers, more gin, then drank some growler.
I was dragged home by a friend.
Proceeded to lay on the floor of my living room and lose it.
Julia talked with me for a bit, before I started barfing.
I puked about 40 times the next morning.
I'm never doing that again.
That was definitely a line that I crossed and refuse to cross again.
Should I really be putting this on the internet?
It doesn't really matter I guess.
Writing things down is good.
My life is basically an open book anyways.
I went to an amazing noise show on Friday.
Be Bad is my favorite band in the city.
I dance so much and feel great when they play.
I'm going to try and tent out in the woods this week.
I have a lot of warm blankets, and some warm clothes.
I guess it really depends on the weather.
My salary kicked in.
Now that I don't smoke, and am trying to slow down the drinking, what to do with all this morning?
Save, and have many mini road trips.
I want to go to Cape Breton, and I want to see the Valley.
I've been friends with Julia for 2 years, and have not seen the amazing she keeps talking about.
This summer has to be full of adventures.
I'm so glad Leah's moving back, she'll keep me put together.
Soon too, like in two weeks.
I'm so excited.
I miss hanging out and long talks and sitting in restaurants for hours drinking water.
I think I'm really going to cut down on meat too and Leah has the knowledge to help with that.
I can't give up seafood, the Acadian in me won't let it happen.
My family's coming to the city soon too.
I can't wait to give my little sister and mom big hugs.
Maybe we could go out to Peggy's Cove or something.
That would be a fun adventure for reals.
Anika would love it out there, some times you can see sea creatures doing their thang.
By which I mean swimming.
There we have it.

I seriously don't explore the city enough.
Yesterday I went on a bean burrito/Frenchy's mission and ended up in a magical place.
I got a fucking brand spanking new pair of red chucks in my size, for 8$!
Not to mention a really nice bright blue blazer, good times at Frenchy's for sure.
Also, the bathroom is upstairs now, and its crazy.
You keep going up these steps for what seems like ever, and every time you get to a new floor is twice as sketchy as the last.
Definitely fucked, why leave the whole rest of the building abandoned?
Craig had the insanely bright idea that we should find a sweet spot for smoking.
So off we went on adventures further and further north.
We met an old lady and she directed us towards the Halifax explosion bells.
Everything a person could want in a city, pretty bells, a beat down playground, an abandon pool, some forest type stuff, and a secluded tree in the middle of a field.
This tree gave the perfect cover, it was meant to happen.
The sad and long walk home followed suit, but man, a little piece of the outdoors just 20 minutes away.
Soon though, tenting out at the lake.
It has to happen, fuck it, it will happen.
Naked fire rituals, and sacrifices.

If you're going to make out in the street like your life depended on it, you might as well just come to my work and give me head.
Seriously, I hate public displays of affection.
Well hates a strong word, I usually reserve the word for a few vegetables, condiments and 2 people.
But dislike applies for reals though.
The only time I excuse disgusting amounts of public loving is if I'm drunk.
Because then it's funny and you get to laugh.
Try laughing at someone for making out on the street at 10 in morning on Sunday.
The looks I got.
Don't you think some stuff should just be for two people?
You know when that door closes you're in for a treat.
Basically I'm saying, come to my work and give me head.