The last 16 days have been ridiculous.
Lots of things happened.
Magical.
All I need to say in this post is.
I need to get out of here now.
And I will, in two days.
If only to forget how bad I am a fuck up.
And also, to distance myself from you.
For my own benefit.
I love you, but I think that's my downfall.
I just need to breathe for a month.
Do things totally different.
Come back with a new look on things.
If you love me, and want to say goodbye.
(This is directed at everyone), come to Charlie's on Thursday.
It's my going away hoorah.
I'm nervous.
I'm excited.
I'm terrified of whats to come.
Of what to expect when I get back.


THURSDAY AT CHARLIE'S!

I went to a few shows this week.
The first being the awesome Wednesday show, Scribbler and Fantods played.
I like Scribbler's new sound, but they definitely have to keep the rock.
I had a major boy bashing session with Trudy out back.
We peed together, it was magical.
I think the major melo-drama from this night has already been talked about.
The next day Scribbler played again with the Kettle Black.
That show was low key, but fun.
Before hand I had awesome some with Crystal, Ethiopian style.
I went to visit the Tay at the parking thinger, I couldn't imagine being in that room as much as he is.
I got kicked out of the boy's bathroom at Gus' that night, first time in a boy's bathroom.
Breaking all the rules over here.
Afterwards I had some kind of meltdown in true Lindsay fashion.
Dave Liption walked me home, or so I hear.
Friday, the day shame died.
Trudy and I went to Crystals for some front porch hang out action.
She spotted two crusty kids she knew from Toronto, they came over for some hangouts too.
Eventually I took off and went to, can you guess, the place of my ultimate demise, HQ.
Trudy came over soon there after for the festivities.
Progressively the party was reaching ridiculous level and this was before we let for Charlie's .
When we got back things got weird.
Taylor and Grace took off their pants, just hanging out.
Whats her name showed up so I ran outside to the roof, granted I've heard bad things about me being up there.
Dan doesn't trust me out there so he came to hang.
We started fighting, I'm not sure what about but it's our style to fight a lot.
Then we were wrestling and I was hitting him, he eventually pulled me off the roof.
We were chilling in the hall for a bit then we somehow managed to pass out in this hallway, not the apartment hall way, but the building hallway.
I hear it was adorable, a little ball of too drunk.
I woke up confused and still drunk, got Trudy, we left.
When we got home at 7 in the morning we realized we were keyless, we managed to build a ladder out of a compost bin and a lawn chair.
Sean came home!
With cake and beer for Trudy's birthday.
A 24 for the 24th birthday.
We drank all day in the backyard eventually parting ways, they went to a party, I went, predictable.
I fucking hate it when people walk three feet infront of me instead of besides me.
The show at Gus' was fun, I danced a bunch, the walk home however was terrible.
I got Dan walking ahead of me, yelling at me about total bullshit, all pissed of for nothing.
I must of went to Murder house, but I can't remember.
I'll fill in Sunday and yesterday some other day.

I've never cried in front of anyone in my life.
I've always kept my cool.
I couldn't do that on Canada day though.
I absolutely lost it.
I don't understand.
Why you just won't be it.
I feel like such an idiot.
Yet, my spirits aren't 100% down.
I still feel this thing.
I just don't know to what extend.
I like that this other girl is stupid.
About the same stupid as me.
And we both did something shitty.
To someone awesome.
I am the same kind of awful as you are.
Good for me.
I guess I've never pretended to be a good person.
I've always just laid it out.
This week has been full of ridiculousness.
I got so drunk the other I almost fell off a roof.
I scrapped both my knees.
Lucky for me my friends take care of me.
The other day I started crying at work.
I didn't think I had any money.
Which meant no booze or smokes.
This is when I came to a realization.
When I get back from my trip I'm working on being less of a drunk.
Seriously.
I feel like I've overcome something finally.
When I look at this other person I don't feel anything.
I feel like I wish we were friends.
Or better friends, but that'll change I'm sure.
This trip has to change my life.
I can't fucking wait to get out of this city.
See something different, get away from this place.
Not be in the same god damn drama.
I miss Julia.
My voice if reason.
She'll be home soon though.
Not soon enough.
I miss Leah.
My other voice of reason.
I'm glad I have Trudy though.
She makes me laugh.
She makes me smile.
By the way.
Masturbation cures headaches.